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Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Of Course, You Realize...

It seems, by Gawd, that there's a War on Fitzmas! - a real war, this time, that even we portly chickenhawks with a gammy leg can fight in? Well, sign me up as a Colonel, give me a regiment of the Dark Brigades and we'll give them What For! How selfish, how self-absorbed, indeed, that with all the scandals there are for us to celebrate at this time, we should have this Rovian Fitzmas stuffed down our throats. Bugger me, but you can't step into a supermarket these days without some chintzy cheezy Fitzmas carol jingling out of loudspeakers, be it "Away in the pokey" or that awful "Si-i-lent Dick".

What of our songs, our hymns? Where is "Hark the Herald Scanlon Sings", our "Arreste DeLayis"? Have you ever, in your wandering of these "festive" aisles with all their hideous Trumped-up decorations, have you ever heard play of "Deck the Halls with Blood of Captives"? You have not.

I swear, the next red-nosed "greeter" who shakes a tin at me begging contributions to the "Scooter Defense Fund", whining about how "it's for the pwesident", I'm going to plank him one in the puss.

A pox on Fitzmas, says I: say it loud, say it proud, say it with me -

Happy Fallidays Everyone!

The sooner it's all over, the better.


Blogger Cowtown Pattie said...

Oh, just have some Fizzie Fitzmas Wassail and call me in the morning...

5:41 PM  
Blogger DarkoV said...

Methinks the Fizzie Fitzmas Wassail has been flowing heavy already. How else to explain the addition of such finely named bloggers as Aarko V the Covenant? Sounds like a track off of the latest Mars bloody Volta album.

My teeth are (Silent "g") gnashing.

5:56 AM  
Blogger F.C. Bearded said...

I had to look that up - never heard of Wassail.

And what do I see? Once again, this ridiculous pairing of apple [good] with cinnamon [evil] that haunts very nearly every american recipe that features an apple. Thank the lord for the purety of Appletinis, says I, though I wouldn't put it past you to poluute that with Goldschlager or Jagermeister or some other cinnamonic monstrosity.

7:04 AM  
Anonymous stephenesque said...

Egg Nog laced with brandy ... perfect for dashing through the snow with a one hoarse belch.

7:42 AM  
Blogger Cowtown Pattie said...

Oh, lordy, Jagermeister. Should come with a warning label: Do not consume while playing silly bar games such as "popping quarters".

Not that I would know of such consequences...

I personally love cinnamon. Nice red Hot Tamales candies would just turn to jelly beans without such a nice spice.

11:26 AM  

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