Gimme a T, for Trouble

Ever the follower, today I'm propelled by vortices into the slipstream trailing behind Whiskey Prajer and DarkoV, both of whom confess to guilty-secret T-shirts they're way too old, or too embarassed, to wear in front of their families, let alone a gawping public.

The impression I receive of both gentlemen from their writings is that they are, most likely, far better dressed than I in the everyday? Since leaving behind the mandatory uniforms of high school, and the shame of wearing mother-bought trousers that were always a half-mast too short, I have been strictly jeans and T-shirt; and since arriving in the sun-blessed Golden State, strictly shorts and T-shirt. True, I am in middle-life; but there has been no crisis to cause this - at least, not of the regular flavor - but rather a redemption. After thirty-five years of grey-skyed gloom and perpetual rain, it is almost a duty to expose pale-weathered legs to the soaking sun. It is a form of celebration: Shorts, T-shirts, farmer tan - that's me, that is.

I do dress well occasionally - quite literally in keeping with some or other occasion. I dress fittingly for weddings or for funerals - and I was indeed shocked to attend one funeral here where "Beach Casual" remained the bereaved's code; southern California's catholics do not wear Sunday Best, in my experience - and I dress smartly whenever we go out, my belovéd and I, to theater or opera or dinner or parties or dances. She, on the other hand, is always impeccably and beautifully dressed. She buys clothes and shoes; I buy computer gear and games.

I am a tink, and had thought incorrigibly so. Until around a year ago, that is, when through medical necessity I began to dress smarter: a healing surgical scar on my throat would cause a mild choking sensation when worn with a T. Since that time I've been wearing linen breeks and silken shirts to work, and people have been talking! This might be my mid-life crisis! Finally too old for shorts?

I have many, many T-shirts, then, in various states of disrepair. None of them are of bands or albums: no AC-DC, no Zeppelin or Hendrix, no Beatles - those are worn by my kids. Most have something written on them: just no bands. Two or three I would say are too embarassing to wear - one sentimental, one political, and one K.I.T.H Satan Worship shirt that people won't get.

But: there is one shirt I wear often which was a gift from my father-in-law, who bought it at a local "Highland Games" he took the kids to one year. The caption reads: "SCOTTISH DNA - BETTER THAN LIFE INSURANCE"; but I have absolutely no idea what that means?

Seriously - what the heck is that supposed to mean? It puzzles me every time I wear the shirt. Answers, anyone?