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Thursday, March 31, 2005

Why am I Always the Bad One?

S-scream.jpgITTING IN A SEMINAR of sorts the other day - doesn't matter what it was about - when I awoke with a shudder: our speaker had just described people who cast themselves victims as "passive-aggressive."
No, I thought, That is quite wrong? The passive-aggressive trait, to my understanding, is much more insidious, far more destructive than plain wallowing in pity? The victimhood, such as it is, is entirely contrived. The passive-aggressor operates by provoking his mark to retaliate, then appeals to his audience - hands held wide before pained, pleading, hurt face - to rally to his aid in face of such attacks. He will, to cite an extreme example, explode a bomb in a lunch-crowded restauraunt then shriek and wail in horror when his house is bulldozed. It is the child who whispers in the dark I hate you I hate you to her younger sibling, then complains next day that No-one will play with me.
Why am I always the bad one?

Politics and elementary schools, and indeed families, are full of it.

How should one deal with it? I Call Bullshit! has at least the charm of satisfaction, but is ultimately futile: the passive aggressor is way too wrapped-up in themselves to notice, too narcissistic to believe themselves capable of wrong. Too sociopathic to care. I have no answer - though I've struggled for years to find one having been bracketed above and below by this nasty psycopathy. One cannot even use humor, for they have no sense of it, of anything other than schadenfreude? On the one front I have chosen to ignore, to have done, to sever and discard a poisoned extremity. On another front I cannot, and must struggle with it poorly, in my own useless fashion.

But to see it writ large, consuming every channel on the television, pampered and coddled and amplified by a heartless media or congress who recognise their own? That makes me sick to my stomach.

I'm with Michele today - it hurts to bite one's tongue. My thoughts are also with another; the quiet one, the object of all scorn and derision. Peace be with you, son.


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